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dansela
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one thing I learned about addicts they will NEVER ever change. Problem is that many people that put with addicts are codependent. I lived with an addict for 30 years. When I met him he was an addict and I didn’t know ANYTHING about addiction, drugs, booze, none of that. I thought I was doing a good thing by helping him. Boy was I wrong. i was a mark and he knew it. I’m working myself up to leaving him. If at all possible I plan on leaving him on his 65th birthday, a birthday present from me. It may sound vindictive but I don’t care. I KNOW without a doubt he’ll go back to drugs. The only difference is I don’t care. If I see him on the side of the road and I could save his life, I wouldn’t. He was the only man I ever loved. Now he’s the only man I despise. Until I leave (he will NEVER leave, I have to do it) I will make his life hell. 2 months ago he was admitted in the ER with a heart attack. He was in ICU for a week. Had I known it was because he took cocaine, I would’ve never gone to see him. I found out purely by mistake, the heart surgeon did not know that he asked that no one tell me that he tested positive for cocaine. Now that I found out, I wish he went and got high again and dropped dead. I’m soo over these scumbag addicts. When I met him he was homeless (yes I know…long story, again I knew nothing about drugs or the pathology of those that are addicts). I helped him clean up, get a jog, got a home, got his own business going etc..all along always battling his need for drugs. I learned SOOO much about addicts and addiction and, sadly, it’s only in the past 2 years that I learned about co-dependency. I’m a classic example of a co-dependent. Now maybe I went to the dark side but I have no sympathy, no patience, no caring for ANY addicts. I would never ever ever help another addict for as long as I live. I don’t care why and how they got there. I have had A LOT of trauma in my life from as far back as I can remember (and I have the scars to prove it) and I know that addicts are sad pathetic things that can’t deal with life. Best thing to do is walk away from an addict. As soon as my youngest is out of school (i need to help her financially) I am out of here. Look forward to the day I walk away. Until then maybe he’ll do me the favor and go get high and drop dead in the process. Good ridden – I have wasted 30 years of my life on a pile of human trash and I regret EVER saving this thug’s life !