I was in similar situation but also verbally abusive and temper where he would break stuff (w two toddlers around). I would straight out say I want a divorce this isn’t working it’s not good we both aren’t happy. That didn’t sink in but prepped him. The way I finally got it I wouldn’t suggest but was meeting up w someone else and when I got caught I lie I admitted it because I didn’t care and wanted out. Well that helped push things along. But made it ugly for a while. Don’t stay cause he’s a good father. He’ll still be a good father no matter what. If he’s not a good husband/companion/ supporter/ lover then look out for yourself and be happy