August 25, 2018 at 7:51 am

Help!

I just went through a nasty break up with my ex. We were together for years, set to get married and he called it all off for another women. It hurt me & still does. The main problem is we have a child together. After he called everything off my child was devastated instead of helping him understand & providing support he got on the next plane and went to be with her. He left me picking up the pieces. When I spoke to my child he was heart broken why he asked and I couldn’t answer. He didn’t come home when he was supposed to instead stayed with her this devastated my son even more. When he did eventually come home he went back early to be with her and her child once again breaking my child’s heart. My child has been crying uncontrollably, angry out burst, going from not sleeping to always sleeping, developed migraines, etc. It breaks my heart to see what he is doing to him but I can’t do anything. Instead of taking responsibility he blames everything on me. He tells my son he left because I was mean which is totally opposite I was too good and my son knows that, when he left early he blamed that on me saying I made him go back again untrue. When my son was with him he would put me down. It is to the point my son doesn’t want to talk to him but again guess who my ex blames, me. He doesn’t realize him leaving, him leaving early, his change in contact (no FaceTime when he is with her) is why. He is extremely angry with me and has been since the beginning and I have no idea why. He left us, he made that choice. I have been trying to be an adult and trying to refrain from fighting with him but it’s hard when I see my child in so much pain, he refuses to pay child support and won’t agree to a custody arrangement. He won’t tell me when he is coming so we can arrange a schedule for visitation I just don’t know how to deal with him. What bothers me the most is he willing leaves his child knowing what he is going through and goes to help raise someone else’s. Anyone deal with anything like this? I do want my son to have a relationship with his dad but not if it’s going to torture him.