Divorce when the other has never done harm
May 24, 2025 at 6:41 am
I’ve been married 25 years. I didn’t marry well. Married for all the wrong reasons. I always felt that a big part of marriage was that each person inspired the other to be their best selves. My marriage has felt like the opposite, slowly disintegrating who I once was and not in a good way. My wife has never intentionally hurt me, but being who she is, has robbed from me my self. For the last 6 years, I have considered cheating but haven’t yet gone through with it. There has been no intimacy for over 10 years. She has put no effort into wanting desire. In fact she has put no effort into anything. She sits and reads all day and all night. The little bit she does do is bare minimum. I’ve tried to bringing up goals, desires, and dreams and she has never stated having any.
I’m 54. I’m getting to an age where dating seems it may get harder. As of right now, I’m still fairly fit. I still have enough juice in me to follow through on some remaining goals and dreams. As of now, we don’t live. We never leave the house, we never venture out and explore, eat at interesting restaurants, take vacations, celebrate anything.
The hardest part of all this is we have 2 adopted children (13 year old boy and 15 year old daughter). Both with trauma in the background. My wife is constantly getting into yelling matches with the kids. She has no patience for either, never takes the time out to teach them, guide them, or comfort them. The kids never feel like they can ever do right by her. On the other hand, I do take the time to teach, guide, and comfort. I have no idea how a divorce would impact the kids. I think my daughter would support it, however, my son is a different story, his trauma runs deeper. In fact, he was put in a group home for a year and half for his violent relationship with my wife. It was a very scary few years. He has unusual fixations on my wife, I don’t believe he sees her as his mother.
I’m not sure what is best. I know that I’m descending into a dark hole. I’m so far removed from who I once was and I really don’t like this constant state of survival mode. I do have a counselor and I will probably start discussing this more with her.
Thoughts?
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