My Successful Divorce

There is such a thing as a successful divorce. 

It’s a process… a good investment into a future of new beginnings and a not forgotten past.

I became a divorcee at the age of 28 with two kids under the age of 3 and a work ethic but no career.  I will never forget the words my lawyer said to me  “How will you supplement your income?”   Those words did not register, not comprehensible at that time.  

I quickly realized I needed a plan, a vision.  How was I going to become an important citizen, a role model to my kids and create a path to a new beginning? It was all too overwhelming!

I was not sure how to enter back into the work force.  Dealing with the emotional loss of my marriage, the reality of my future and raising two young boys seemed more than I could handle.   I was schooled but had put all career opportunities on hold to raise my children.  I knew that I had to take control of my life.  Even though the steps were hard, I knew the example I set for my kids was crucial to both their development and mine.  I had no choice but to create a life for myself.

There is an old saying that if you find something you love and are passionate about it, the money will follow.  This is what happened to me.  From my experience, the path you follow will turn into a road and that road will eventually open up to many streets and avenues.   If you can find the belief in what you were meant to do, the opportunities are endless.  The kids were my inspiration. The choice was mine.  

I created Peony, a decorating firm,  with my friend and now business partner Ellen.  We based our business on the premise of home office /home life.  We were both raising small children and a home based business was the only way we could do both well at the same time.  We also had the same philosophy that a house is not a home until you are surrounded by the things you love.  This was comforting to me during the early divorce years – being in a safe and loving home made me feel confident and secure.  Slowly, through building a new, comfortable environment I felt I could achieve my goals through the toughest of times.

Divorce is not a sentence. It’s a book of many chapters. If you read along slow and steady you will get to the best parts of the story and hopefully have a very happy ending.  In other words, if you push yourself toward developing your own self – and not getting stuck – you can learn to move past and develop a new, different and beautiful story.  As I have!

Paula Seligman 

Co owner of Peony Design, www.peonydesign.ca

Happily remarried for 17 years with 4 children