Blindsided

I thought we were a solid couple and I thought we were happy. I believed in our marriage and loved being part of a family and a mom to our three kids.

I never questioned our connection or chemistry. I never noticed any signs. So I was shocked when he came home and told me he’s “out". Just like that.

I wanted to know why! No conversation about him not being happy, no option for therapy or the possibility of working through this.

Then came the next tidal wave. Not only was he out but he was already involved! She was younger. They met at work. He had a connection with her he couldn’t deny. She understood him. She made him feel alive. He was leaving…. Moving on and moving out!

I was left reeling. Picking up the pieces. Trying to make sense. How could my life blow up in a matter of minutes?

How dare he do this to me! I am the mother of his children! I am the one who stood by when we were broke. The one who helped him build his career. The one who helped him become the man he is today.

My emotions were limitless. I could barely cope with the news.

Years later I reflect on this day and have met so many others who have experienced similar pain. Why is it when one leaves they usually have another lined up? Are people too scared to be alone? Too concerned with their own selves to leave in a respectable way?

Being blindsided was horrible. Humiliation and hurt lasts a very long time. Time does heal, and I am in a much better space. I have moved on from the anger, and my failed marriage. I still don’t like nor respect my ex for the way he treated me, but I co-parent with a smile on my face for the benefit of my kids.

Rina