I hate to say it, but for newly separated or divorced people Valentine’s Day may rank as the worst holiday ever.
My marriage ended last year just after the Christmas Holidays and right before Valentiines Day. Last year at this time, I was mending my broken heart and feeling extremely sad and lonely. To make matters worse, my ex husband began dating a women 15 years younger than me, and swore she wasn’t the reason for the breakup. I had to add jealousy to my list of emotions.
The image of Valentine’s Day with hearts, candy, flowers, and happy couples is seen everywhere in greeting cards, television commercials and of course all those happy people on Facebook. There seems to be no escaping the “happily ever after” that this Day represents.
I “dreaded” the day. It was so depressing and sad for me. I know that Valentine’s Day is about love – but it is so commercialized to be about couples and romance! There are many people in the world who do not have the perfect someone to share the day and be romantic with on Valentine’s Day.
My divorce in Toronto was final in December. If you had asked me ta year ago what my life would look like, I was totally lost and didn’t have a clue. I was emotionally drained, facing what appeared to be a lonely existence.
But, a lot can happen in one year. This year on Valentines Day I am feeling confident again,happy and not lonely. I’m happy with my new job, my kids seem to be doing better, my finances could be better and I just met a nice guy.
I still don’t buy into the commercialism of this holiday but I definitely don’t “dread” the day. This year Valentines Day and Family Day fall on the same weekend — a double dose of loneliness for those who are separated and don’t have their children with them this weekend.
I plan on spending Valentine’s Day with my 3 divorced girlfriends who have showed me so much love during this last year. Dinner and a movie with 3 amazing women I adore — It’s the perfect date!!
Cindy G
Cindy Chisvin M.Ed.
You are a strong and courageous woman. Despite our knowing that this day is all about commercialism, logic doesn’t always apply to the heart. Friends are vital in helping us get through these moments, and that is what they really are, moments in a lifetime.