The Nightly Toss

I toss then I shift, restlessly looking for a comfortable side.
Pillow like walls packed in a tight embrace secure the perimeter
making it safe to breathe.
The nightly troops in heavy descent, morph into emotional assassins.
Dreams are kidnapped as my sleep disappears without a trace.

My mind frantic,
My body desperate for rest.
Deep breaths restore the calm as I work hard to keep my thoughts free.
Each night the terror sets in.
I am frozen with fear
I don’t know what to do?
It comes to me — simply
The mattress has to go.
My mattress laden with ‘happiness and tears’.
It embraced my love.
It birthed my babies while nurturing their growth.
It cradled and supported me while I dreamt the life I would create.
It housed my fears and provided a refuge from my truth.
My tears still damp, flooded the box spring, catapulted
into a life boat of despair.
The waves, so turbulent prevent sleep from its arrival.
My mattress holds my story!
Letting go of my mattress will be the energetic release I need.
A fresh start
where new dreams are imagined and possibilities are explored.
A new terrain to traverse.
I could roll left or I could roll right,
No habitual grooves anchor or block my passage.
Each night a different course to travel with me at the helm.
Look who’s Captain now!
First night was shaky
too sad, too hard, too new.
Tentative I lay down waiting for the emotional strike.
To my surprise my body drained of resistance and with a new support
crested the hyper gamma waves of sleep as I was lulled into my
tranquil new beginning.