Do’s
- DO KNOW YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS AND OPTIONS
It is imperative that you know what your legal rights are and what your legal options are. Choosing how you decide to divorce (do it yourself, mediation, collaborative or traditional litigation?) is extremely important. Keep in mind that the choice you make in how you will arrive at a settlement agreement directly affects the cost.
- DO BE HONEST
Trying to hide assets or facts will simply extend the process and the cost of your Divorce and will not help you in the long run. And the truth always surfaces — if you’re leaving for someone else your spouse will find out! They always do.
- DO KEEP GOOD FINANCIAL RECORDS
Bank statements, stock portfolios, pensions, trading accounts etc.. (including records of any debts) and draw up a list of assets, classifying them according to whether or not they are shared or were owned pre-marriage. The more information you have the better as your lawyer will need it – all of it!!
- DO KNOW YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN!
It is hard to see the trees through the forest when you are in the thick of it. Know that this horrible time in your life will pass and that amazing things will follow. Try something new – you have time and you’re free! Cooking classes, dance classes, learn to play the drums. Do something that is just for you.
- DO USE PROFESSIONAL EXPERTS WHEN NEEDED
Lawyers, Financial Planners, Mediators, Coaches Therapists, Real Estate Agents, Matchmakers — Make sure you hire good professionals to help guide your through your divorce Divorce Angels recommends professionals with a proven track record for success in a wide array of fields that all support the divorce process including family lawyers, financial planners, mediators, business valuators, real estate agents, career coaches, matchmakers, personal trainers, private investigators and break up coaches and so much more.
DON’TS
- DON’T HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
Getting a divorce requires compromise, patience, and realistic expections. The objective in divorce should not be to win, but rather to conclude a marriage in a fair and efficient manner.
- DON’T PUT YOUR CHILDREN IN THE MIDDLE
They are innocent victims and don’t want to be pitted against one of their parents. In fact, the kids don’t want you to say anything bad about either parent. They want to know that both parents are okay and functioning. Showing them too much of your emotions puts a stress on the kids that isn’t fair.
- DON’T BE “THAT” EX!
Don’t send crazy text messages to your ex at 3 in the morning. Don’t send crazy emails ranting and raving. Know that text messages and emails can be used in a court of law should definitely give you reason to think before pressing “Send”. A reactionary comment might turn into damning evidence against you. Ultimately, you need to be aware that nearly any data that can be tracked could come back to bite you.
- DON’T ALLOW SOCIAL MEDIA TO SWALLOW YOU AND SUCK YOU IN!
From stalking your ex on Facebook and Instagram to viewing everyone’s perfect life — limit your access to social media. Set time limits for yourself and stick to it. Remember everyone has the perfect life online and it will only make you feel worse about yourself and your situation and its not real!
- DO NOT USE YOUR LAWYER AS YOUR THERAPIST!
One of the biggest mistakes people make is using their lawyer as their therapist. Know that your lawyer is not going to cut you off mid sentence and tell you to get a therapist but they really should! Your lawyer is not trained as a therapist and his/her hourly rate is much more than a trained therapist who really wants to listen and help with your emotional needs. Your lawyer’s job is to get you the best settlement possible in the shortest amount of time at the lowest possible cost. Don’t bog him/her down with the emotional side of your divorce.
