He’s a fair guy; he’d NEVER do that to me…”
“She’s the mother of my children; she’d never do that to me…”
Regardless of what your relationship with your soon-to-be ex is at the moment, please do not assume anything about your future relationship, one way or the other. It is of course of paramount importance to bring separating couples as close to friendship, or at least civility, as possible however even with the best of intentions you can never be certain.
There are a myriad of anecdotes you’ll hear in order to get along, such as: “Don’t speak ill of each other, especially in front of your children”, or “be amicable in your communication with one another”, or “be willing to compromise, it will come back to you in spades”…and the like.
Finality is vital to a good quality relationship in the future. What do I mean? Divorce should be handled efficiently and in one shot– it’ll sting for a moment then heal slowly. As a side note and added bonus: it usually costs less as well!
Settle all issues; leave nothing for future settlement.
In other words, do not make an offer, or accept one, that provides for future division of and payment for property or assets. If it is inevitable due to the circumstances, do not agree unless it is secured by irrevocable collateral.
Why?
First, there is no guarantee that the obligations will be met; requiring court battles, legal fees and perhaps all in vain if the debtor decides to hide assets or ends up dilapidating them.
Second, and more importantly, you remain connected and dependant financially to some degree. It is vital to maintain solid parenting relationship; unresolved financial settlements become stressors and have an inevitable way of negatively impacting, and often even destroying, an otherwise civil relationship. Result? Your children lose out…. as do you…
Do not fall in the trap of accepting future settlements in order to settle amicably today. The law is on your side at the moment of divorce but thereafter it’s a chasing game that may never end….
Anouk Benzacar
Anouk is a family lawyer in Montreal with over 22 years experience. She has knowledge, professionalism as well as experience in dealing with people. Anouk’s friendly, open yet cut-to-the-chase personality promotes cooperation, honesty, trust and alleviation of stress. To learn more about Anouk Benzacar please click http://thedivorceangels.com/vendor/anouk-benzacar-2/
